An Open Letter

Dear Reader,

This is the first post I’ve released late, and I think a huge part of that is how unsure I feel about it. It is a vulnerable and personal post, and for me vulnerability and fear can often go hand-in-hand.

Nonetheless, today you I am sharing a letter with you; but just this once it’s not to you. It is, of course, for you.But it’s not written to you. Even so, I implore you to read. I hope you see the person you need to on the other side of this letter. Perhaps you’ll even write your own letter, and find your own healing.

I also want to give you a trigger warning. If you don’t feel up for a post that addresses emotional abuse, I encourage you to save this post for another day or not at all...take care of yourself.

I write to inspire and empower you. Through my words I have discovered my own strength and healed many wounds and if this post can aid in your own journey read it, if it doesn’t let this one go.


Dear XXXX,

You taught me many lessons.

You taught me that

I deserve broken people.

I deserve people who inflict pain

and destruction.

 

I invite people inside who are sick.

Hurting and

searching.

 

These people belong to me, and

I belong to them.

 

We attract each other.

We feed on one another.

 

I devour their self-hatred,

narcissistic murmuring and

frantic fights.


 

You were my sustenance.

and without you,

I could not survive.  

 

You retold this story every night

As you kissed my lips and whispered

“I love you.”

 

You reminded me again when I rose,

ensuring I would never forget

Sliding me lies and

sunnyside-ups for breakfast.

 

I believed you.

 

After all, the story was one I knew,

Men whispering words…

I need you

You’re not enough

Don’t leave me

I like it when you cry,

it proves you care.

Fix me

Fix me

For fuck sake, please fix me.

 

I trusted these whispers

 

But today,

I trust myself.

 

I trust myself to see you

for who you are

 

I trust my ability

to choose

myself.

 

I won’t invite you back,

instead I’ll invite myself.

 

Invite,

My love

My trust

My singing voice

My cute feet

My strong muscles

My beautifully flawed, healing, and valuable body

My brilliant, expanding mind

My good judgement

My hunger for growth

My hairy armpits

 

I will feed only on,

Santorini Sunsets

Mountain Summits

Hikes to Monasteries

Dirty feet

Cheap flights

Long days

Silence

Wildflowers

The waves and

The rain.

 

So, I want to say thank you.

 

But not to you.

 

Once, I longed to reach a place of gratitude

for your abuse.

To say thank you

for retelling a story

I knew all too well.

 

I wanted to say “hey thanks”,

Your story taught me

I deserve a new one.

 

But you did not teach me,

that was never your intention.

 

I taught myself.

I wrote myself a new story.

I discovered my value,

my worth outside your story.

 

So to YOU

I will say these words:

You cannot hurt me,

I don’t have to do this anymore,

I have nothing for you.

 

Oh yeah,

And thank you.

 

Wait...

Just to be clear,

My gratitude

Is not for you.

 

It’s for ME.

 

Thank you,

You beautiful, fierce warrior goddess.

You dear sweet woman,

you are a blessing to yourself.

Know this.

Trust this.

- Written 12/4/16 sitting atop a rock throne in Santorini Greece.


My travels inspired powerful moments and healing words. I only hope sharing these words help you to heal, wonder and wander more freely.

With my heart full of so much love and gratitude, so I’d also like to thank YOU! Thank you for reading, supporting, and sharing with me.

These words aren’t always easy for me to write and I know they are not always easy for you to read, so I am humbled by your strength and willingness to heal head on because damn, it can be really fucking hard. Know that I see you, and I appreciate you!

May love radiate boldly and brightly through your screens today.

- Annalise 3/26/2018 (Over a year of growth later and these words still bring healing) Hugs to you sweet readers!