It has been a week and a half of transition. I want to acknowledge the fact that this transition has led to a lapse in writing. It is always my goal to share with you openly, to bring you along on my journey and to inspire your own. And sometimes, I lose sight of that goal.
Sometimes I get caught up in all my own stuff, my work, the heat, my relationship -- all of it. But today, sitting down to write to you reigns me back in. Writing to you, through Empowered Wanderer, is what lights my soul on fire, what inspires me to make huge, life-changing decisions, and overcome the "shoulds" of life. So, with today's post I'd like to catch you up a little bit.
A week and a half ago I put in my notice at work (which you'll know if you read last weeks post "Creating a Home of The Road"). By giving notice, I'm leaving a workplace that my heart does not belong to. That is clear. However, I am also leaving an amazing team of badass women.
The women I work with have brought me back to my roots, have invited me to Shabbat dinner, and given me community and love. The women I work with have traveled the world, from Jerusalem, to Italy, and Brazil. The women I work with understand that they hold the choice to create life and some will choose to and others will not. These women are incredible, strong and brilliant. These women are my sisters.
And still, these women and I sit and speak about how we were too afraid to negotiate salary in their entry interviews. These women stay late and come in early without compensation. These women acknowledge that they feel their jobs are less secure if they do not out perform male colleagues.
So when I make my decisions, I think of these women. I think about we deserve. I think about a work place that makes us feel powerful and free. I think about the path I can pave by committing to empowering other women.
When I put in my notice, I thought of the women in my office and I proceeded without fear. I've given notice to countless employers and each & every time my hands shake, as guilt overwhelms me. But this time, I was clear.
Sure, putting in my notice contradicted every should in the book. The "shoulds" we learned as little girls: I should keep a stable job; I should keep my head down; I should never say no to a man, especially a man in a position of power (my boss); I should comply and make life easier for others. But rather than feeling shame for shunning my "shoulds," I felt pride. And when I walked into my bosses office I told those shoulds to fuck right off and announced: "I am quitting. My last day will be the 15th" with conviction.
And when I walked back into the office I share with a team of strong women and told them the news they embraced my decision with love and support. By giving notice, I opened a door for us all to speak about our dreams. About doing birthright together, walking to Camino de Santiago, about traveling the world and pursuing the dreams we sometimes forget we can achieve as women.
As I leave this position to pursue my own crazy, unruly, wild-woman dreams; to travel the world in a very well loved car and on my already blistered feet, I realize the lessons I've learned these past six months. I realize that the world's structure often makes us feel small, puts us in situations we believe we must overcome by keeping our heads down, and we bond in this. But we also bond in our strength, our intelligence, and our passion; and if one of us steps out of the smallness that has been thrust upon us, we all step out.
I may be stepping away from my job, but I am not stepping away from the women who have given me so much. I can't wait to step into our passion and light together, in whatever way it unfolds.
May you also step into your light. May you leave your "shoulds" and forced smallness behind. May you embrace the crazy dreams that set your souls on fire.
May we all.
Interested in the post I referred to from last weeks wandering Wednesday? Click the link below!