I will start with my favorite quote about the gardens growing on human bodies:
“the next time he
points out the
hair on your legs is
growing back remind
that boy your body
is not his home
he is a guest
warn him to
his welcome again”
- Rupi Kaur
Well ya’ll, as she often is, Rupi Kaur is absolutely right. No one, has the right to tell you what your body hair should look like, what it represents, or how it defines you. That is up to you, and you alone!
As a hairy woman, I often use the hashtag: #bodyhairdontcare.
But in reality, I do care. I care a ton.
No, not about other’s judgements. Not about the friends who pick up pink razors and shove them in my hands. Not even about the men who slowly slide their hands off my body at the first prickle of skin to hair.
None of that bothers me.
But I do care about the men who fetishize the hair that sprouts naturally from my body.
I do care about my body being commodified simply because I have allowed her the freedom to exist in a natural state.
I do care about the boys who slide into my DM’s and assume my body belongs to them, because my lack of trimming and tweezing somehow equates a lack of body-ownership in their minds.
I do care about the men who ask in hushed tones if I’m kinky because course curls blanket my underarms.
I do care, that somewhere along the way body hair turned into a fetish, rather than a normal body function and adornment.
It speaks to a larger objectification and over-sexualization of women’s bodies.
My body is not yours.
My body is not a category of pornography.
My body is not a kink waiting to be performed upon.
My body is mine.
My body is natural.
My body is healthy and flourishing.
My body is able to grow forest, and fields and rushing rivers.
My body is covered in hair and yours is too.
Whether you take a razor to it or not, it grows there.
So the next time you try to fetishize my body, stop, and think about the respect your own body deserves.
Next week I’ll write about body hair in relation to dating, sex and desire. I had a close friend ask me last month if men turned away from my body hair, if they cowered in fear or disgust, and I had a pretty interesting answer for her! Can’t wait to write about it in more depth next week! Stay tuned!