On Saturday evening I found myself in Luna (my travel companion, and car), windows down, music up, trying to keep my shit together. Focusing on my breath. Remembering the freedom of the open road. Attempting to balance all my commitments, arrange my entire week in my head, and rationalize the multitude of emotions swimming around inside of me.
My sweet friend, Brooke, would arrive Sunday morning, and I hadn’t been home in three days. So by my calculations I had roughly 12 hours to figure out how the hell I was going to balance: having a house guest, 42 hours of work (minimum) between two different jobs in four days, AND finalizing all the important details for An Empowerment Journey workshop.
Head spinning, heart pounding, I pulled over and sent a text: “I’m juggling a lot right now and would love to have you come, but I really need your support when you’re here.”
I explained I would have the energy to watch movies, maybe to do a little dance to release the tension in my body, I would be game for cat snuggles and sitting in the sun at the waterfall, but I would also need to work.
Without hesitation Brooke answered with “Whatever you need.” And boy did she mean it!
Over the course of her visit we binged Stranger Things under cozy blankets, with a cat cuddled up between us. We ate tomato soup as rain poured outside. We traipsed around the water fall naked, letting nature heal us. We danced and stomped and shouted and stretched. We hugged and laughed and sang songs I thought I’d forgotten long ago. We ate a million tacos and explored Mt. Rainier National Park (briefly, because we spent the other half of they day working our remote jobs).
When I asked for Brooke’s help I did so because I needed to advocate for myself, I needed her to know I was in the midst of a balancing act. I asked expecting her to respect my needs and bring love and hugs to me.
However, what I didn’t expect was her insistence to wash the dishes at every meal; to mow my lawn while I was at work; to drive us into the next town so I could make work calls; or to help me refill my propane tank when it ran out.
I wrote a post while Brooke was here, on our Wandering Women’s Retreat page on IG that said:
When you can’t see the light, trust in those who love you, who see you clearly, who seek to uplift and aid you. Take their hand, follow their lead, and know that all is well. You are moving in the right direction, the hand wrapped around yours has you. It’s okay to ask for help 💛 you don’t need to have it together all the time babes! How do you ask for, and accept help?
When I read the post out loud to Brooke for her input she looked at me mouth agape and asked, “Did you just write that out of no where? I would have needed to search Pinterest for hours.”
I shrugged at her and smiled, “Yep, I just came up with it.”
But reading the post now, I realize, the words didn’t come out of no where, they came from Brooke, they came for her visit, from my ability to ask for the support I truly needed, and her unyielding willingness to love me exactly where I stood and provide the support she felt comfortable offering and I felt grateful to accept.
It’s not easy to ask for what you need, it’s not easy to admit you need support to keep it all together, but when you ask the people you love and trust and stay open to what they can give, the support will wash over you.
So this is your reminder to ask for what you need, and accept the help when people show up to give you what you’re asking for. You are deserving of support. You are worthy of love. And you are not expected to do it all alone.
Big shout out to Brooke Lambe for being a light for me this week. I love you deeply and appreciate our time.
This week has brought me the light I needed to get back to my twice a week posts. I’m sorry I’ve been out of the game this month. But I’m back, with a lists of posts to write and share with you. I cannot wait to continue this journey with each of you. Thank you for constant support and understanding. I only hope I give you inspiration and empowerment in return!