I Never Imagined

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Dear Reader,

Today, laying under my car, with oil covered hands, and dusty coveralls riding up my buns, I thought to myself, “I never imagined I would be here.”

I never imagined I’d embark on the majority of adventures, tasks and activities that have filled my life with joy and meaning in the past 12 months.

  • Travel across the country alone — no way I’ll be with a partner or friend.

  • Guide teens through rope courses — I’ll be at a desk instead, or raising my own babies.

  • Work as a crew boss in the National Forest — impossible, I don’t have the skills for that!

  • Thrive without Wifi or cell reception — how am I supposed to be alone with my own thoughts?

  • Change the oil in my car — someone else knows how to do that, I don’t need to.

  • Sleep peacefully, (okay, semi-peacefully) with a bat in my home — I jump when I see a bat, let alone temporarily live with one

  • Shoo mice out of the floor boards — sike, I’ll be hiding under the covers

  • Crank up the lawn mower solo — nah, it’ll be too heavy to push, too tricky to start

  • Pull up sod by hand to plant gardens and flower beds — I can buy everything I need at the store

Well folks, it turns out, all those cant’s, all those “couldn’t imagines,” all those “I would never’s” have been the most insanely gratifying and empowering experiences of my life (thus far).

  • Traveling cross country solo — well ,you already know how much I loved this one if you’ve been falling Empowered Wanderer. Wandering solo has allowed me to deeply listen to myself, to understand my own strength and to let go of everyone else’s ideas of success.

  • Guided teens through ropes courses — turns out, working in nature with youth is like A MILLION times better than being parked behind a desk. And believe it or not, I’m not ready for my own babies (check out my Motherhood video)

  • Work as a crew boss in the National Forest — turns out I have loads of skills I didn’t realize and a huge drive to learn. It’s not worth limiting yourself with self-doubt!!

  • Thrive without Wifi or cell reception — most days I really love my own thoughts, they turn into poems, and dances, they turn into videos and blog posts, they turn into deep dives into self or philosophy, they turn into songs sung to the woods and they prosper, freed by the absence of technology.

  • Change the oil in my car — yes, lots of other people know how to do it. Now, so do I, because I am so incredibly capable and powerful. I can rely on my own knowledge and skills.

  • Sleep peacefully with a bat in my home — I can’t say this one has been fun, but it has given me a lesson in rational and irrational fear. It has brought me back to my breath, to my resilience and my ability to overcome discomfort.

  • Shoo mice out of the floor boards — after traveling cross country solo, mice are a non-issue, and peppermint oil is a great deterrent. Every challenge comes with really incredible lessons and a sense of newfound strength!

  • Crank up the lawn mower solo — this one makes me feel like such a FREAKIN QUEEN. I am strong, I’m a badass, I’m not limited by my gender or expectations of my roles in society.

  • Pull up sod by hand to plant gardens and flower beds — why buy when I can create, produce and nurture (not only my plants, but also my soul). It’s on par with therapy and dance to release stress and work through challenges.

So here’s what I have to say. Personally, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and pride for pushing my own boundaries, for diving into the unknown, for doing so many of the things I never imagined I would do. I am becoming a woman I never thought I would, or really could be. I am stepping into my power in an even deeper way. I am learning how infinitely capable I am. I am claiming my strength and asking for more.

I encourage you, to wade into the water of the unknown, to trust the strength within yourself you have often doubted, to challenge the roles society has placed you in from the beginning.

And if you do, I hope to hear your stories!

Sendings lots of love your way,